No One’s Meeting My Needs!

Have you ever felt that no one is meeting your needs? You feel like you just don’t connect with anyone. Here’s some valuable insight that may help you out.

Recently, my church hosted a women’s event with great teaching, amazing food and fabulous fellowship. I attend a large church that holds two Sunday morning services …  yet, only 10 women attended the event. It was well publicized and was similar to a very popular event held last year. There was excitement building from all that we have done over the past year so expectations were high, but the attendance fell flat! Now, don’t get me wrong, the 10 of us who attended had a wonderful time. We were challenged spiritually and we had some encouraging times sharing with each other. But, why didn’t more ladies attend? Especially when the number one complaint heard by Sunday morning attendees is “I just don’t feel connected.”

Here are my thoughts (and they aren’t approved by the pastor or leadership of the church so don’t get mad at them): You aren't connected because you choose not to be connected. Click To Tweet I get it – you have Little League, football, basketball, soccer, ballet, piano recitals, business dinners, scrap booking events, etc, etc, etc. You are busy. But, you are making the choice of what you attend. I am not condemning your choices. It is important to support your kids in their activities and God bless you if you actually organize your scrap book stuff into books (mine is all dumped into very heavy plastic bins and will probably never be organized) but own the fact that you are making that choice.

We all do what is important to us and we all have the same number of hours in the day. If we don’t choose to get involved in an activity it isn’t the fault of the organization. And if the organization isn’t offering something that meets your needs, then, maybe you should step up and start it.

I remember when Bret and I were first married there weren’t any Sunday School classes or groups that we felt comfortable in. When we went to discuss it with the pastor, he replied, “Great, when will you start this group?” Wait a minute … we were looking for someone else to meet our needs and he turned it around on us. A short time later, we started our young married group and met with 10-15 couples regularly for the next several years. We made some great friends and had a wonderful time. But, if we had just sat back and complained, it never would have started.

It is easier to complain, but we need to own our choices and be responsible to make things happen. If you want to be connected in your church, community, work or other group then take it upon yourself to get connected. It’s not their responsibility to include you; it’s your responsibility to make it happen if it’s that important to you.

Are you feeling left out or disconnected? You can start to address it by taking action today. Maybe it’s making a phone call, meeting someone for coffee, fitting that event into your schedule. Whatever it is, stop complaining and do something today.

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  • Starting one’s own group is fine for those of us who have out-going personalities, are “well adjusted”, and are not afraid of new encounters. For the shy or timid folks, I still believe we need to make a concerted effort to reach out. It is called hospitality. I realize it is not and either/or situation, but this is a simple reminder to not neglect those who are not like us.

  • I recently started a mentoring program that addressed some of the barriers for learning. And since our subject is commication, i asked what are some problems encounterd in communication and they said it was listening. I suggested that maybe duplication of what was being said might be what was missing. We created a drill to help us improve duplication and people started to feel a real difference! Some even walked away with a better understanding of others because they didnt add their think to what was being said.
    The problem is for me is.. that i didnt find the buy in. Their buy in. For that.. i have to be interested in them and willing to listen. Not just to what i want to hear. But exactly what they said.

    1. Thanks Chris! You are right, we need to understand what people’s needs truly are before we can meet them. You have a keen interest in helping people; you are making a difference even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

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